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"Mengikut Perjanjian itu, tiap-tiap Negeri akan menerima 5% daripada nilai petroliam yang dijumpai dan diperolehi dalam kawasan perairan atau di luar perairan Negeri tersebut yang dijual oleh PETRONAS atau ejensi-ejensi atau kontrektor-kontrektornya".
- Tun Abdul Razak, Dewan Rakyat (12hb. November, 1975)

Monday, February 16, 2009

You're a graduate from Oxford..! - malaysiakini

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A farmer named Lakbir Singh was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Bolehland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young Malay man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Lakbir looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right.

Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Lakbir.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Lakbir says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a graduate from Oxford and a Member of Parliament for Umno," says Lakbir.

"Wow! That's correct," exclaims the yuppie with the customary Umno's Wow Factor, "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered Lakbir.

"You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, and to a question I never asked.

You tried to show me how much smarter you are, and you don't know a thing about cows.

This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maksud mendalam sambil melawak. good job!

Najib-s & Samdol-lah said...

itu maksud mendalam tapi maksud mudahnya...walaupun graduate dari Oxford ke, dari bulan ke...tapi kalau perangai macam "sial",kerja nak "kelentong Rakyat" samalah taraf dengan lembu-lembu tu..."Tak ada otak" tapi kalau bab "Pencacai" @ "Penjilat Taik" itu bukan sama level dengan lembu tapi sedikit kurang.(sama level dengan Taik Lembu)

Anonymous said...

perghh..teknikal abisss...tp last2 bangang nk mampus..kakakaka... penghibur kala tekanan memuncak... kekeke... - Neo

IndukYati said...

kah..kak..kak....hua..hua..hua..hua..
bodoh gak mamat Um No nie yer

Anonymous said...

High class joke. Well done. Itulah sebenarnya yang berlaku dengan pemuda UMNO buat demo isu raja Melayu.

Dulu dia yng telanjangkan sultan, sekarang cuba ampu balik.

Anonymous said...

Salam tuan tanah, leh saya tumpang ngomel sekaki, terfikir gak apa lah yang akan di 'buat' dek si bangang tu kat anjing tu kalau tuan singh tu tak minta balik anjing dia ... tak boleh nak bayang... ye lah kalau lembu ngan kambing pun dia tak kenal !!!